Escapades with liquid nitrogen

After insurance setback #1, I decided to proceed at the Chicago Women's Health Center, a non-profit dedicated to making health care available to all women. They have an alternative insemination program that has a sliding-scale monthly fee, which for me ends up being about the same as what I would pay at a fertility doctor with insurance coverage.

Chicago Women's Health Center
www.chicagowomenshealthcenter.org
3435 North Sheffield Avenue
Chicago, IL 60657-1641
(773) 935-6126

So, this week I had to pick up my swimmers and drive them from the fertility clinic to the non-profit in a liquid nitrogen tank. The andrologist at the fertility clinic was very sweet and very helpful; she charged up a tank and gave me instructions on how I should keep it from tipping over. "Strap it in like a baby," she said. I'm thinking, in a car seat? I don't have a car set. I did however set the tank in a box, and used the seat belt to secure it. I drove gingerly from the Gold Coast to Lakeview, and made it without mishap to the CWHC.

I walked in and announced to the receptionist "I brought sperm!"

I also got to watch them deposit the sperm in their nitrogen tank, which sat in the corner of an office, next to some filing cabinets. Needless to say, it was a very non-clinical type of atmosphere.

Afterwards I figured I no longer needed to keep the tank upright so I put it into the trunk of my car. As I was driving I heard something tip over, and then heard creaking noises coming from behind me. I pulled over and opened the trunk, only to have waves of dry-ice type fog flow out. The tank had indeed tipped over, and the liquid nitrogen in it had spilled out. I put it back in its upright position, and assumed no damage was done. Incidentally I had been driving around with a bag of stuff to return to my ex, but it was something I never really got around to doing. Some of the liquid nitrogen spilled on a couple of his CDs, but as far as I could tell they were still OK. I imagined the awkwardness of having to explain, as I returned his cracked belongings, that I'd accidentally spilled liquid nitrogen on them as I was escorting my sperm to my provider. This was a conversation better had in my head than in reality, I think.

I am not sure how many people have spilled liquid nitrogen in the back of their car while driving frozen sperm around town, but I must say I was glad I did not get pulled over or have to explain the oddness to a police officer. Perhaps I should call Car Talk and ask Click and Clack if I need to be concerned. I'm sure they would get a kick out of it.